The first job is going extremely well. I’ve received my second pay check, the people with whom I work are excellent, and the work really is not that difficult. It can even be exciting at times. A lot of what I do is boring (filing receipts, entering charges, etc.) but I get to talk to people in person and over the phone, which presents a great opportunity for comedy. I thought I’d share some of my stories from my first few weeks of work.

For the record, I have not disclosed where I work because if these stories were ever connected with my workplace, it wouldn’t exactly spell career advancement for me.

The Moth

I was confirming a reservation when a huge moth flew towards me from behind the computer screen. The person sitting next to me burst out laughing because I had dropped to the floor to avoid the moth because I hate bugs. Once she started laughing, I started laughing, but I was still on the phone call. Neither one of us could get ourselves together in time to talk to the member and we couldn’t go on the call laughing, so the member just hung up.

The Weather

“What’s the weather?”

That’s probably the question we get asked most frequently. I would love to respond, “Look out your window,” but more recently I’ve invented a new method of retaliation. I will give them the basic temperature and forecast, but then I’ll go into excruciating detail about percent humidity, pressure, and visibility. I’m particularly proud of accomplishing a way to quietly rebel because the person on the phone certainly cannot complain.

Reservations

Part of my job (which I share with several summer assistants like me) is to take reservations, but it can quickly degenerate into a nightmare. Multiple families want to sit together, but they reserve twice. Or they make a reservation for two and they call back the day of the event to change the reservation to eight. Or they are “absolutely sure” they made a reservation for 7:30, but the book shows 6, so they “insist” on being moved to 7:30, even though there aren’t any tables available. Then they call back and make the situation worse by adding four more people.

The Mini-Fridge

A woman came up to me just yesterday and said, “I have this sandwich that needs to be refrigerated. Do you have a minifridge back there in the office?”

I restrained my snappy retort and politely said that we don’t have a minifridge. Her response stunned me. She said, “Are you sure that you don’t have a minifridge or are you just guessing?”

Tennis Court Reservations

We don’t do tennis reservations in the office in which I work. That’s handled by a completely separate office, but that doesn’t stop people from trying. I transferred this particular call to the tennis shop, but nobody picked up. When I explained to the caller that it was impossible for me to take the reservation, he practically yelled, “That doesn’t seem like a very good solution, does it? Now how can I reserve my tennis court?”

I asked him to call back, after which he theatrically sighed and hung up the phone.

That’s only a taste of what happens on a daily basis. Maybe I should write a book.